Jasper’s Piggly Wigglies

Red Planetary Skywalker GAP

Five little pigs finished their yogurt, oats and apples on a sweltering morning. They licked their bowls clean, and wiped beads of sweat from their faces; each with a red handkerchief. Then they looked at each other.

The first little pig said, “Well I’ll be going to market”. And he picked up his orange basket, put on a straw hat, and went off whistling down the road.

The second little pig said, “I’m melting in this heat! I’ll be sitting in the creek.” And he picked up a yellow chair, and headed to the water.

The third little pig stared for a moment, blinked, and ran out the door after his brother, calling, “Wait for me!! Wait for me!”

He ran so hard; he tripped over a rock, stumbled and fell. He sat there squealing, “Squee squeee squee!”

The fourth and fifth little pigs heard the squealing. The fifth little pig shrugged, got a beer, and plopped himself down on a rocking chair. The fourth little pig sighed, left his brother to his rocking on the porch, and went to see what the squealing was about.

“What’s the matter?” the fourth asked the third when he found him squealing where he’d stumbled.

“Squeee, squee, I’ve hurt my leg, swee swee!” wailed the third little pig, “It hurts real bad!”

The fourth little pig held his brothers’ leg and saw it was bruised.

“You sit here brother, I’ll pick some fresh green comfrey leaves to wrap your leg with.” Off went the fourth little pig, returning shortly with green leaves. Only when he began wrapping the leaves around the third little pigs leg, he began wriggling and wiggling and squealing, then he gave a sudden jiggle and Ow! He’d kicked the fourth little pig in the jaw! Squee squee squee, squealed the fourth little pig, holding his jaw. The two brothers sat there squealing loudly.

The fifth little pig was listening from the porch. When the squeals grew louder and he heard the fourth little pig wailing, he put his beer down and went to investigate. He followed the racket they made and found them easily.

“What do we have here?” he asked, staring down at his brothers, stroking his chinny chin chin. “Hmm, it appears our brother dear, the most honorable third, has a bumped leg. From the distance he’s sitting and the rock nearby, I surmise . . . well what does it matter, let’s get that leg wrapped up and yes, yes, your jaw too, however did you bump that?”

The fourth little pig was pointing to his jaw and to the third little pig and the pile of green leaves. The fifth little pig scratched his head, picked up the leaves and started wrapping them around the blue bruise on the third little pigs’ leg. But he began squealing and wiggling and jiggling and wriggling, so the fifth little pig shrugged and moved to help the fourth little pig. The moment he touched his brother’s face, the fourth little pig let out an ear splitting sqquueeee and threw his head forward, banging into the fifth little pigs head, knocking him over. Ow! Pow! Ow!

Squeeee, wee, the three little pigs sat squealing at the top of their lungs. The second little pig heard them in the creek. “What the . . . better go see what’s happened.”

He followed the noise and found his brothers squealing,;one with a blue bruise on his leg, one holding his jaw, and the last one rocking back and forth clutching his head.

‘My oh my, looks like a pile up, let’s see what I can do,” he declared, and spotting the comfrey leaves he picked them up to put on the bruises. But the third little pig began jiggling when he touched his leg, the fourth little pig wriggled when he touched his jaw, and when he touched the fifth little pig’s head, he gave a squeal and punched the second little pig smack whack, right in the left eye! Squee, squee, squee, swee!! Four little pigs sat wailing and squealing.

Presently, with a hop and a jump, the first little pig came along back toward home from market. His basket was brimming with goodies, cheese bread turnips potatoes and apples. He whistled a merry tune, his straw hat set at a jaunty angle, he skipped along pausing when he heard squealing.

“Hmm, what could that be?” he wondered, “I’ll go see, could be someone needs a helping hand.”

He skipped over in the direction of the squealing and stopped staring when he saw his four brothers.

“Well my stars, whatever happened to you all while I was gone?!” He shook his head and set down his basket, eyeing the comfrey leaves and bruises each of his brothers wore, the second with an indigo eye puffed and swollen like a balloon. He rummaged in his basket and found the bag of maple sugar leaves.

“Here we go, try these,” he said to his brothers, handing them each one.

Ooo, the squealing died down as they began sucking on maple sugar leaves, and quick as you could say tom thumb, the first little pig wrapped up the bruised leg, chewed up and pasted the bruised jaw, laid down and pressed comfrey on the bumped head, and applied paste and leaf to the swollen eye. Then he sat down and ate maple sugar leaves with his brothers, and when the bag was empty, they munched on apples until they were all gone too.

“Let’s go home,” said the third little pig, “My legs all better, the maple sugar is good medicine!”

“Yes,” agreed the fourth little pig, “If only I’d thought of that! My jaw’s all better too!”a

“Hmm,” said the fifth little pig, “But I think the apples had something to do with it.”

“Maple sugar and apples, yes, that must be the combination needed,” said the second little pig, “I’m going back to the creek now, my eye’s all better!”

The first little pig smiled and picking up his basket, skipped back home, jumping over the rock with a high and a ho and a fiddly di do.

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